The Discipline to be a Free Spiritby Teri Jo Wheeler on 03/02/16
A couple years before I quit my teaching job I saw a psychic who said I was going to quit my job and become a free agent spreading hope, love and inspiration in unconventional ways. I was upset (and doubted her intuitive abilities) because I couldn’t wrap my head around how I would survive financially. She offered little in terms of comfort except to say that I was a free spirit. This actually brought up more anxiety because I was rigid, orderly, rule-oriented and controlling and although I admired 'free spirits,' I also cringed at the idea of being that wild, carefree and potentially irresponsible.
She went on to say that I did things backwards which would be a great advantage for me. She said many free spirited types who come into the world and live unstructured, unplanned, free-flowing lives often end up in midlife broke, battered and bitter because they lacked the necessary discipline and drive to get their earthly shit together. It gets harder as you get older to build structure and support systems, and change is much more difficult.
She said, 'You did it differently. You were born free but became weighted down by pain and experiences. These weights in some ways anchored you and helped you develop great strength and survival skills. You built the inner foundation and structure first. You wanted to get your feet planted firmly on the ground before letting yourself even dream of flying – a sort of full on embrace the caterpillar experience before earning your butterfly wings.'
That made sense to me, though I still had no idea how anything was going to work out – Thank God. Had I known the tests and struggles, I may not have had the courage (or insanity) to take the leap of faith and follow my less-structured blossoming heart.
It’s been one heck of a long, often broke and sometimes bitter road since I taught my last kindergarten class in 2008. I have wanted to give up and run back to the sanctuary and security of classrooms and regular paychecks often - especially this past year. One day, I dream of being able to afford new clothes, real vacations, maybe even a house, and time to socialize and be 'normal' again. But for now I’m living moment to moment following the passions of my heart and the wisdom of my soul. The earthly knowledge and skills my mind has learned along the way are also incredibly supportive. I call the heart-mind-spirit connection the holy Trinity. They are housed within our bodies. Our greatest potential comes through cooperation, communication and collaboration - uniting as a team inside. Spirit (soul) leads the way with purpose and vision, my heart (emotions) brings the connection and passion, and my mind has the knowledge and experience to get things done in physical form.
In consciousness and the evolution of mankind we need both sides – the disciplined, structured, hard working, sensible, logical, responsible, have-a-plan, make-your-mark ego (as in healthy ego) or human-ness. AND the free flowing, trusting, intuitive, creative, rejuvenating, spacious, gracious soul. The form and the flow. The way and no way. Efforts and Grace. Science and Spirit. Masculine and Feminine. Shadow and Light… and all the in-betweens. Through it all I have come to understand deeply one of my favorite quotes...
"It takes tremendous discipline to be a free spirit." ~Gabrielle Roth
Love & Light,